Be mine: 2014

2013. At the start of this year I promised myself that things would be different, however here I am on December the 31st feeling that, to say the least, the year could have gone better. But I guess we have to learn from our mistakes and use them to make us stronger, because how else will we carry on?

A lot of people mock the idea that a new year holds the possibility of a ‘new you’. Maybe the notion is a little cheesy, but what does it matter? If the turning of the year means the belief in better why not let it?

This year, my New Year’s Resolution is simple; it is to be the best me I can be. I will work hard, I will love more: be kind and patient, I will participate and stop being afraid. Ida Scott Taylor wrote, ‘Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled by the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering’, this is something I don’t want to forget.

So play your music ridiculously loud, act silly, and be brave. Make this year your best year yet. Dream big. Anything could happen. 2014.

Quinoa 'Porridge'

The first time I made ‘quinoa-porridge’ I didn’t really like it. I really wanted to, but I didn’t. There just was something about the texture that wasn’t as satisfying and gooey as my usual porridge oats, and so I was put off. A few months later I decided to try again, I changed my recipe, adding banana, in the hope that it would provide whatever it was that was missing. Bingo! It worked.

This quinoa porridge is yummy! It is big, warm and gooey, just like I wanted. What is more is it is packed with so many health benefits, (it’s high in protein, a great source of iron, contains more fibre than most grains etc etc…) it is a great way to start the day!

Quinoa Porridge:

4 tablespoons of uncooked quinoa

1 cup of almond milk

1 banana

Toppings of choice (for instance fresh strawberries)

Place the quinoa in a sauce pan and cover with 400ml of boiling water. Leave to boil gently for around 12-15 minutes until the grain has become soft and fluffy. If there is any excess liquid at this point drain it. Add the almond milk to the quinoa and continue to cook through. Mash ¾ of the banana and add to the mixture. Continue cooking until all the almond milk has been absorbed. The mixture should now be a soft porridge-like consistency. Pour into a bowl and top with anything you like! Enjoy J

Christmas day

Christmas Day. Sometimes at big family events I feel kind of lost, engulfed in the large crowd that is my beautiful family I get quieter and quieter, drawing back into myself. When I think about it I know it is silly to feel this way; my family know me better than anyone. But maybe that is why I feel like this. I focus too much on how I think they see me - I just fulfil expectations.

The build up to Christmas however is my favourite time of year. I love the excitement; I love the promise that for at least a few weeks me and my sisters will be at home. And for those few weeks I get to spend time with my three best friends in the world. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

It is this positivity, and fleetingly happy attitude that I need to grasp hold of and build on. Rather than feeling trapped by this scared ‘version of me’ I need to set myself free.

For Christmas this year my parents gave me gifts that would encourage the discovery of a new, stronger Georgina and I couldn’t thank them enough. Today they gave me a MNB Lorna Jane diary, which is full of inspirational quotes about discovering and moving your body; about loving yourself and striving for your dreams; it is just beautiful. They also gave me things to encourage a healthy relationship with food – to fuel the good and to show me support; The Green Kitchen cookbook, a new blender, multi-coloured utensils… I knew it already, but I truly am blessed.

So tomorrow I plan to wake up with a new attitude. Moving toward the end of 2013 and the start of a new year, we are reminded that we can always begin again. It is a corny idea, and probably said too often, but 2014 is going to be my year. My dreams are big and I choose to believe in them.

Happy Christmas everyone. I hope you have had an amazing day.

A first: 'carrot cake' oats

I thought I would share the first ‘daring’ recipe that I made when I decided I wanted change; carrot cake oats. This was the first new breakfast I tried after years of being restrictive. It was my first step in striving for a new and stronger me. Carrot cake oats is warm, gooey, sweet and delicious; it is without a doubt one of my favourite things to have for breakfast

Carrot cake oats:

1 cup of almond milk

1/3 cup of oats

1 medium carrot

1 banana

½-1 tsp of cinnamon

Begin by heating the almond milk in a pan on the hob. As this heats grate the carrot and mash half of the banana. Once the milk has begun to bubble slightly turn down the heat and add the oats, grated carrot, mashed banana and cinnamon (amount to taste), and mix well. Simmer on a low heat for around 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the mixture has combined and is thick and gooey. Chop the remaining half a banana into slices. Serve the oats in a bowl and top with the chopped banana and any other yummy things you fancy. I love mine with homemade granola or dried mulberries, and a drizzle of peanut butter.

Let today be mine

This morning when I woke up I felt kind of light; almost like there was something special reverberating in the air. Today would be a good day. I got up, went to the gym. Even though it was still dark outside you could still see, feel even, how clear the air was. Some people think that Sheffield is an ugly, grey industrial place. But looking down at the lights of this ‘Steel City’ it is hard to imagine why. Away from the gym and back at my university house I got ready for a long day in the library, getting dressed, making breakfast, preparing lunch – no anxiety, methodical – choosing healthy, wholesome food because it is my favourite, no overthinking. Not today; happy day.

But then a friend I was supposed to be meeting for a coffee never messaged me back, and my sense of anxiety began increasing with every beat of my heart. Feeling alone the voice in my back of my head started, echoing, ‘no one likes you’.

And then I remembered a quote that I saw a few days ago,

‘Sometimes you have to let people go because they are toxic to you. Let them go because they take and take and take and leave you empty. Let them go because in the ocean of your life, when all you’re trying to do is stay afloat, they are the anchor that’s drowning you’.

For me this is something so resonant. I know this, but truthfully I don’t want to acknowledge it. Neatly put, there’s history.

So consciously today I made a change, I text my mum and my sister, I got a coffee. I sat curled up in my favourite seat in the library – the big chair by the window – and I made myself feel okay. Because you should be the controller of your own happiness, no one was going to ruin this clear day with the big blue skies. Not for me, not today.

Today is mine. 

Remember tonight for it is the beginning of always

This blog has been a long time coming. I’ve tried and failed on too many occasions to write an opening post but I have never got it quite right; each post always seemed to lack the strong impact I wanted my first words out there in the world of the inter-web to have. And I mark my biggest problem right there: Atelophobia – the fear of imperfection; of not being good enough.

The other challenge I faced in starting a blog was deciding what I should write about, but I guess that that is something we are going to have to figure out together because I am still unsure. All I know is that I need this creative outlet. For me writing is a form of therapy, and lord knows I need it. Somewhere over the past 6 or 7 years I have become half the girl I used to be; both physically and mentally. I won’t go into details but long story short, eating disorders suck.

This blog is about getting away from what has held me back for so long. It is about finding the magic in my life again; it is about the little things; it is about hope.

I ask you, what would you do if you weren’t afraid? Tomorrow marks the start of a new week; I choose to fight.