Recovery from an eating disorder is possible and completely, undeniably worth it...

Imagine being stuck in a box with black walls. Imagine trying everything but you're stuck; there is no way out. Imagine how frustrating and upsetting and lonely that would be. You spend a lot of time in that box and after a while you can't remember what it’s like in the real world, did you like it outside? Soon you're not sure you really want to leave. The box feels safe, no one can hurt you there. Everything stays the same.

That's kind of like anorexia. It traps you and you can't get out. Pretty soon you forget what reality is and you stay locked inside yourself because somehow that feels safer. Life passes you by and you don't really know it. You don't participate. You can't, and quite frankly you're not sure you want to anyway. Next thing you know you're 21, everything and everyone has moved on but you haven’t. You've forgotten what you’re interested in; you don’t do anything. You become your eating disorder, it defines you.

This week is Nation Eating Disorder Awareness Week, and after 7 years of fighting something which has left me both physically and mentally drained, this week will mark a change. I don’t want that voice in my head screaming ‘anorexia’ when someone asks me about myself and what I do. I want to move on.

Fighting an eating disorder is hard. It feels like going against every atom in my body. But I have had enough of the pain and exhaustion, the depression, the tears, the anger, the way it has affected everyone I love. So here is to trying again. I know there might be days when I want to rebuild my box and hide, I have been through this before. But I have faith because I truly believe life without an eating disorder is better.

So this week I pledge to love myself a little more. Comparison is fruitless, I can never be someone else; I can only be the best me possible – and she is strong and healthy… and most importantly happy.
 And maybe you will try to love yourself more too. Start right now. If you need a sign this is it, break away from what has been holding you back. You are more than a number on a scale, or a size in a pair of jeans. You are beautiful because you are YOU. Never, ever forget that.

Recovery from an eating disorder is possible and completely, undeniably worth every effort...